As parents, we often complain of troublesome three year olds. Three year olds can be troublesome because they are developing from babyhood to childhood.
Teenagers get the same reaction – developing from childhood to adulthood is not an easy transition, and so much communication can be lost along the way, especially with parents, who could, with a little effort, be the teenager’s best friend…
A certain understanding of the roots of a problem, and a lot of acceptance can bridge so many gaps and ease the changeover from a 3 to 5 year old, or indeed a 13-20 year old.
But how on earth do you find the root of the problem when you hardly know what the problem is, and your teenager certainly isn’t going to reveal it to their parents. In your dreams!
The solution is to ‘not’ focus on the problem – we know in our hearts that focusing on a problem will not find the solution.So what do we do? We ignore the problem, or more to the point, we put it on hold.
The most certain way to communicate with anyone is to ask them what their dreams are, what they want from life, how they visualize themselves in the future.
Get into their space:
Many teenagers will be dreaming of celebrity type status, footballer, singer, film star. And before you decide for your teenager that these dreams are unattainable, remember someone’s got to be doing it…
Find out what your teenager is interested in, ask them what they dream about, and go with it. Yes enjoy it with them. Let them dream and then help them on their way.Even if you’re absolutely convinced in your heart that your teenager has no acting ability or can’t kick a football to save their lives, that’s not for you to judge.
People achieve stunning things in this world, wouldn’t you love your child to be one of them. A happy fulfilled individual able to share his or her success with the rest of us mortals?!
How many of us grow up with firm beliefs that we aren’t capable of achieving our dreams because someone at sometime told us we didn’t have what it takes?
Don’t let that happen to your loved ones. Following your dream should be an enjoyable experience. Most ‘successful’ people will tell you it’s not the goal but the journey that counts. You need the goal though to be able to begin the journey.
Find out what your teenager is dreaming about…
Don’t make the cringing mistake of making their dream something you’re particularly interested in. Your teenager won’t respect you for this and will more than likely be embarrassed by it.
The best way to help with the dream path, is to take the steps logically, one tiny step at a time. Sit down and discuss the possibilities and the impossibilities. Make some notes together. Buy a homework book to note dreams and goals. Take it seriously.
Do a little research, and come up with the first step in the process. Maybe you could download free scripts from the internet to practise acting skills at home. Have fun acting out the films and learn while you play!
Is there a local football club your budding football star could join and train on Saturday mornings?
Don’t be afraid to NOT achieve the dreams. I was always told ‘you’ll only get disappointed when you don’t make it.’ Well, hey, a little disappointment and a slight change of direction isn’t nearly as devastating as never fulfilling any of your dreams and resentfully working in a job you hate for the rest of your life.
Keep an open mind, we change our minds and ideas as we grow older, take on responsibilities, change our careers… It’s perfectly okay to change your goals and dreams, and this should be clearly stated when you first chat about the dreams with your teenager. As long as you don’t ridicule the idea, you will find a way.
A series of events while pursuing an acting career, could so easily lead to the individual wanting to polish up his/her writing skills. And what’s wrong with that? The contact and experience was necessary to find the right path towards fulfillment. A less than brilliant sporting talent may result in acting the part in the next blockbuster!
We can’t predict the future, but we do all have a perfect right to pursue our dreams and be happy in our lives. The happier we are, the more happiness we share with others, and the happier they are!
To your family happiness!